The day my old roommate's mom called me out on my 'looking' habit

I spent a whole year after my best friend moved away just scrolling through her old Instagram posts, thinking I was staying connected somehow. Her mom texted me out of nowhere and said 'you know she's five blocks away at the coffee shop, right?' and I realized I'd never actually tried to reach out in real life. Has anyone else been stuck in this weird digital loop where you think you're looking for someone but you're really just avoiding the awkwardness of a real message?

2 comments

2 Comments

emmajackson10h ago

That "looking" habit has an even darker side nobody talks about. I used to do the same thing with an ex-friend, checking her tagged photos at parties we used to go to together. Realized I was doing this weird thing where I was gathering proof she was still alive and well, just in case something happened and I'd regret losing touch. It's like we're keeping tabs on people as a backup plan instead of actually being in their lives. Makes you feel connected when you're really just a digital ghost haunting their timeline.

nora_park7210h ago

look I don't know, I feel like we're making this sound way more dramatic than it actually is. scrolling through old posts is just something we do when we're bored or feeling nostalgic, it doesn't automatically mean we're broken or avoiding real life. yeah her mom had a point but honestly that's kind of a sweet story if you think about it, like someone cared enough to give you a nudge. not everyone who does this is "haunting" someone's timeline or collecting proof they're alive, sometimes you just miss the old times and don't know what to say now. I think there's a big difference between mindlessly scrolling and actually stalking someone with bad intentions, most of us are just regular people being lazy about reaching out.