The "treat your house like a campfire" advice for fixing relationships actually worked on me

My buddy who's a wilderness guide kept saying I should approach arguments with my girlfriend like managing a campfire... feed it right or let it burn out. Last month we had a stupid fight over $60 in missing concert tickets and I tried just backing off instead of piling on more logs. Has anyone else found a weird metaphor that actually made a messy situation click?

2 comments

2 Comments

kim.charlie6d ago

Funny enough I tried applying the "don't poke the fire" thing to my dog when he stole a whole sleeve of Oreos off the counter. Worked way better than yelling at him, just let him slink off and hoped he'd throw up on the tile instead of the rug. It's like the universe only gives you weird metaphors that actually work for the dumbest problems, not the big stuff you really need help with. Bet my buddy's never had to calm down a sobbing girlfriend over concert tickets using his wilderness fire tricks, dude probably just sits by himself staring at actual fires. You got lucky the ticket thing was $60 though, imagine trying that campfire approach after a $6000 disagreement about a used truck.

johnb955d ago

Add onto that truck thing because it's actually a perfect example of where the metaphor breaks down. A campfire you can walk away from and let die natural, a $6000 truck disagreement is more like a controlled burn that needs careful planning or it'll torch your whole property. I had a buddy try the "let it burn out" approach on a house down payment argument with his wife, and he ended up sleeping on the couch for three weeks before they finally talked it out with a counselor. The small stuff like concert tickets or Oreos, yeah you can let those embers smolder out on their own, but the big fires definitely need someone standing by with a water hose.