Just realized my quick temper with a fellow volunteer cost us a helper

At our community garden cleanup, I got frustrated with a new guy for moving tools without asking. I spoke to him sharply in front of everyone, and he left shortly after. Later, I found out he was just eager to help and didn't know our system. I learned that a kinder correction in private would have kept a willing pair of hands around.

2 comments

2 Comments

drew_stone468d agoMost Upvoted

How many times have we all done this? I once barked at a neighbor for putting leaf collection bags in the wrong spot during a block cleanup, and he just stopped showing up. Felt awful later, since he was just trying to pitch in. Now I always pull someone aside first.

the_charlie8d ago

Yeah it's so easy to jump on someone in the moment. I read something once about how public correction just makes people shut down, because it feels like an attack, not help. That really stuck with me. It said when you call someone out in front of others, their brain just goes into defense mode and they can't even hear the useful part of what you're saying. I mean, we've all been on the receiving end of that, right? Makes total sense why someone would just walk away, even if they wanted to help. The hard part is remembering that in the heat of the moment when you're just focused on the task.