My aunt said 'just try harder' about my chronic pain and I almost lost it

I was talking to my aunt last Sunday after dinner about how I've been struggling with fibromyalgia flare ups lately. She looked me straight in the eye and said 'you just need to push through it, mind over matter right?' I sat there for a second trying to figure out how to explain that my nerves literally firing wrong doesn't care about my attitude. It hit me different because shes usually pretty understanding but that comment just showed how little people get invisible disabilities. Has anyone else had a close family member say something that clueless?

2 comments

2 Comments

garcia.casey1d ago

Ugh that "mind over matter" line is the worst. My own mom told me to "just think positive" about my chronic migraines and I wanted to scream. It's like they think we haven't already tried every mental trick in the book.

miles_perez1d ago

and honestly the worst part is when they say it like YOU are the one who's failing. like somehow if you just BELIEVED hard enough the pain would vanish. nobody tells someone with a broken leg to think their way out of a cast. i had a friend who told me i wasnt managing my anxiety "properly" because i still took meds. that mindset doesnt actually help it just makes people feel guilty for being sick.