Rant: My manager said my emails sounded 'too angry' and I had to fix it

Honestly, I thought I was just being direct. But after she pulled me aside last Wednesday and read one of my emails out loud, I realized it did sound like I was ready to fight someone over a missing spreadsheet. She told me to add a greeting and a thank you at the end, even when I'm annoyed. Now I always start with 'Hope you're doing well' and it's wild how much better people respond. Has anyone else had to change their whole tone just to keep the peace at work?

3 comments

3 Comments

kai4631d agoMost Upvoted

Start with "Hey" or "Morning" even if it feels fake. Did the same thing after my boss showed me my emails side by side with a coworker's. The difference was brutal. Now I frontload bad news with "Hope things are going well" and end with "Appreciate you looking into this." Makes the whole request sound way softer. Nobody's called me aggressive since. Small price to pay for not having awkward HR talks.

jason7521mo ago

I read somewhere that adding a simple greeting and sign-off actually triggers a more positive response in people's brains, like it makes them see you as a human instead of just a work robot.

ryanf661mo ago

I mean, I get what you're saying about the brain thing, but that's not really how it works. It's more about showing basic respect and signaling you're not a jerk, not some biological trigger in their head. If anything, the research on workplace communication shows that people just react better when you acknowledge them as a person, not because of some weird brain button. Like, it's just politeness 101, not neuroscience. Maybe it's just me but I feel like people overcomplicate this stuff when really it's just about not sounding like you're mad at them for existing. So yeah, the greeting and sign-off helps, but it's not some magic brain hack.