Got called out for my dialogue tags at a writers group meetup last week

I was at this small group in Portland where we swap chapters every month. One guy read my scene and said "you're using 'said' too much, but you're also using 'whispered', 'murmured', and 'hissed' where people can't actually do that." He was right - I had a character hissing a whole paragraph, which you can't really do. Has anyone else had to completely rethink how they handle dialogue tags after feedback?

2 comments

2 Comments

blair_lewis851d ago

Have you heard of just using action beats instead? I read that tip in some writing blog a few years back and it saved me. Instead of "murmured," just describe what the character does while talking, like "he looked down at his shoes" or something. @lilyb27 is right, the nature documentary comment is spot on.

lilyb271d ago

Wait, someone actually called you out on characters hissing whole paragraphs? That's brutal (but probably true, honestly). I've definitely been guilty of tossing in a "hissed" or "growled" when a simple "said" would have worked way better. It's one of those things where you think you're being creative but really you're just making your characters sound like they're doing vocal warmups for a nature documentary.