A regular at my old coffee shop taught me a lesson about names

I worked at a small cafe in Portland for about five years. There was this older guy, Mr. Ellis, who came in every single morning at 7:15. After a few months, I finally asked him why he always ordered the same large black coffee. He said, 'Kid, after 40 years of people calling you 'sir' or 'hey you,' hearing your own name means something.' He just wanted someone to know it. That stuck with me more than any rude customer ever did. Anyone else have a regular who changed how you do your job?

3 comments

3 Comments

craig.grant19d agoTop Commenter

The_wade's grocery store thing reminded me of this pizza place I used to hit up years ago. There was this guy who always sat in the corner booth, never said anything beyond his order. I started calling him "Corner Booth Dave" to the staff just to have something to call him. One day I slipped up and called him Dave to his face and he froze for a second. Turns out his name was actually Dave too, he just never bothered to correct anyone who just pointed at the menu. He came by a week later with a whole pizza for the crew, said it was the first time in five years anyone bothered to guess his name. lmao

the_wade2mo agoMost Upvoted

Ever think about how many people you see but never really know? I had a guy at my gym who just nodded for months. One day I made a point to use his name from his membership tag. His whole face changed, like he was surprised someone noticed. Now I try to learn one regular's name a week at the grocery store. It costs nothing and it clearly matters to them. That old guy was right, it's about being seen.

shah.zara2mo ago

Isn't it wild how much a name can mean? I had a regular on my route who I just called "sir" for ages, but when I finally used his actual name he lit up. Makes you want to try harder to see people.