The "neutral third party" trick that made my brother actually listen about our mom's finances

For two years my brother and I fought about how to help our mom with her money problems, but neither of us would budge. I finally suggested we both meet with a free financial counselor at our local library (the one on Main Street). Having someone with no family history there made all the difference, we actually agreed on a $200 monthly budget cap in under an hour. My brother even said "I wish we did this two years ago" which honestly shocked me. Has anyone else tried bringing in a total stranger to break a family money stalemate?

2 comments

2 Comments

quinnbailey7d ago

Works better than any screaming match ever did.

john_murphy8d ago

Oh man, that library trick is genius. My sister and I spent three years arguing about what to do with our dad's old house after he passed. She wanted to keep it, I wanted to sell. Total deadlock. Finally I just booked a session with a mediator who did sliding scale fees, cost us forty bucks each. He had us write down our real reasons on index cards separately, not just what we'd been yelling about. Turns out she was scared of losing the memories and I was scared of the tax bill. We ended up selling to a family who wanted to restore the place, and we split the proceeds. That third person basically just made us stop talking past each other.