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Telling my mom 'maybe next time' versus a hard 'no' about a $500 loan request

She asked to borrow money for a vacation last month, and I used to just say no which always led to a fight. This time I said I couldn't right now but would think about helping with a specific bill next month, and she actually accepted it. How do you soften a 'no' without leaving the door open for more asks?
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3 Comments
riley860
riley8601mo agoTop Commenter
I read that "maybe next time" works because it validates their need while protecting your wallet. The key is making the future help sound specific and small, like you did with that bill.
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rivera.jake
That's exactly what changed my approach too, riley860. I started doing that with my brother-in-law who asks for money every few months. Last time he needed help with a car repair, I said something like "I can't this time but maybe I can help you find a better mechanic next month." It made him feel heard without me handing over cash. @quinn603, the specificity really is the game changer there. I've also used it when people ask to borrow tools - instead of saying no flat out, I'll say "maybe next time you need a ladder, I can come help you set it up." It keeps the relationship good while keeping your stuff safe.
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quinn603
quinn6031mo ago
Didn't @riley860 have a point about making it specific?
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