12
My mom asked for a 'small loan' that turned into $15,000
I hit a number that really shook me last month. I was looking over my bank statements and added up all the money I've given my mom over the past two years. It came to $15,000. It started with a 'small loan' for a car repair, then it was help with a utility bill, then it was rent. Every time it was a crisis. I never said no because she's my mom and I felt guilty. But seeing that total made me realize I'm not helping, I'm just funding a pattern. I can't save for my own place because I'm always bailing her out. I know I need to have the talk about limits, but the idea of it makes me sick. How do you tell a parent you won't give them money anymore without it turning into a huge fight?
3 comments
Log in to join the discussion
Log In3 Comments
lilyb273mo ago
Every time it was a crisis" is the part that got me. A car repair is one thing, but when it becomes rent and utilities every single month, that's not a crisis anymore. That's just her budget. You're not her emergency fund, you're her whole plan. She knows you'll pay it so she doesn't have to figure it out. That total didn't shock me, the pattern did. You're paying for her to avoid fixing her own money problems.
9
christopher95219d ago
$15,000 is wild when you actually see it written down like that. That's a whole used car or a down payment on a place. I think you already know the answer here, you just gotta be straight up with her. Tell her you love her but you're tapped out and can't do it anymore. She'll probably get mad but that's her problem not yours. You can't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
4