That time my 'friend date' turned into a full therapy session without my consent

Met this guy from my running club for coffee last Wednesday, and within 10 minutes he was dumping his whole divorce saga on me - didn't even ask how my week was. How do you guys set boundaries early without making it weird when you barely know someone?

2 comments

2 Comments

dylan_rodriguez14d ago

Man that is rough. I once had a first coffee date where the person spent forty five minutes talking about their cat's dietary restrictions, and I just sat there nodding like I was getting paid by the hour. Setting boundaries early feels nearly impossible because you don't want to come off as cold or rude to someone you just met. My trick now is to keep the first meeting really short on purpose - like say you only have 30 minutes before you have to go somewhere - that way if they start unloading heavy stuff, you've got a built in escape hatch. It feels awkward at first but way less awkward than sitting through some stranger's whole life story while your coffee gets cold.

leep3314d ago

Oh man cat dietary restrictions that's a new one. I had this one time where I went for a walk in the park with someone and they spent the whole time telling me about their neighbor who had a barking dog that would wake them up at 4am every day and then they started talking about how they tried to train the dog themselves which led to them talking about their entire childhood growing up with dogs. And I'm just there thinking about how I forgot to lock my car and the sun is going down. But yeah the short meeting trick is smart because then you don't end up trapped in some stranger's emotional baggage while your coffee gets cold and you're just stuck there counting the ceiling tiles.