Rant: It took me two years to figure out my friend was just using me for free tech help

I kept saying yes every time he called with a 'quick' computer problem, thinking I was just being a good buddy. It finally hit me when he blew off my birthday dinner but called the next day asking me to fix his router. How do you spot a one-sided friendship before you waste that much time?

3 comments

3 Comments

patel.leo2mo ago

Ugh that's rough. Honestly though, I don't think it's always about spotting it early. Sometimes people just get comfortable taking advantage and you don't see it until something big happens, like missing your birthday.

davidh882mo ago

Yeah, I always thought you could catch the signs if you looked close enough. But you're totally right, it's like they get lazy over time and the small stuff adds up. Missing a birthday was the exact thing that made me see it with a friend last year.

david7015d ago

Hmm that's a good point from @patel.leo, I read somewhere that people who are toxic tend to slowly test boundaries over time, not just jump into it all at once. It's like they build up to being comfortable enough to miss stuff or be flaky without you calling them out. That birthday example really stuck with me because it's such a small thing but it shows they just don't care enough to remember. I guess it's not always about "catching" it early but noticing when the pattern shifts from rare to regular. Kinda makes you wonder how much we let slide before it finally clicks.