Just realized my 'open door' policy for friends was actually driving them away

Last month I had this whole thing at my place in Austin where I told everyone I was always available, no notice needed. I thought I was being the chill, easy friend. But then my buddy Mark showed up at 10pm on a Tuesday while I was mid-argument with my partner about chores. He walked right in and it got super awkward. After that, another friend told me my 'open door' made her feel like I didn't value our plans, like I was just waiting for anyone to fill the space. I get the idea behind being laid back, but I think I was actually being disrespectful of people's time. Has anyone else found that having stricter boundaries actually made your friendships better?

2 comments

2 Comments

robertb3017d ago

Mark's 10pm visit proves your friends needed boundaries not open doors.

zarap1417d ago

Honestly, his friends letting him show up at 10pm without a heads up says everything about the lack of boundaries there. That's not a friend group, that's a free-for-all where nobody respects anyone's time or space. My neighbor did the same thing for years until I finally told her I need a text first, and it was awkward for a week but now she actually asks before coming over. People act like setting a simple boundary is rude, but letting someone walk all over you isn't kindness, it's just setting yourself on fire to keep them warm. Your friends deserve better than that late night chaos.