I spent $200 on a group trip and it wrecked two friendships

Honestly, I organized a weekend trip to Lake George with four friends, put $200 down for a cabin deposit, and then two people backed out last minute. One side says I should eat the cost and not ask for repayment because friendship matters more than money. The other side says they flaked so they owe me, and letting it slide just teaches people it's okay to waste your cash. I'm stuck in the middle because I want to keep things smooth but also not feel like a doormat. Has anyone else dealt with fronting money for group plans and losing friends over it?

2 comments

2 Comments

piper_lopez13d ago

Oh boy, I've been there and it's a rotten spot to be in. I actually read an article a while back about how money disputes are one of the top reasons friendships fall apart, even more than disagreements about politics or relationships. The piece made a good point that if you never ask for the money back, you end up resenting the person which poisons the friendship anyway. So really, there's no clean way out someone is going to feel a little hurt no matter what you do. Better to just be honest, tell them you need the cash back, and see how they handle it that tells you a lot about who they really are.

leep3313d ago

Used to be all "friends over money" until I got burned the same way. Put down $150 for a cabin in the Poconos and two buddies just vanished, no heads up, nothing. I figured I'd eat it to keep the peace, but all it did was make me feel like a chump while they never thought twice. Honestly, it taught me that asking for the money back is just setting a boundary, and if they get mad about it they were never really that solid of friends to begin with. So yeah, I'd tell them they owe you and let the chips fall where they may.