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Figured out I was the one killing my friendships by always fixing things
Last month my friend Jen told me she was stressed about her job and instead of just listening I gave her three solutions in like two minutes. She got quiet and I realized I'd done this a dozen times before. It hit me that I was treating conversations like problems to solve instead of chances to just be there. Has anyone else caught themselves doing this and had to learn to just shut up and listen?
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the_susan10d ago
Oh man, "three solutions in two minutes" is basically my trademark move. I once tried to fix my friend's broken heart with a spreadsheet of pros and cons of her ex. Real smooth, me.
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oliverbailey10d ago
A friend of mine once told me that sometimes people just want their feelings to be heard, not fixed. That stuck with me. It's not about holding back good advice, it's about knowing when to give it. And @the_susan, that spreadsheet story is brutal but I bet she remembers you cared enough to try.
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